Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Going on 15

Weeks that is. At least in terms of pregnancy.

Which means that my first trimester is officially over, although, unofficially, the nausea still bothers me every now and then, granted it is no longer to the extent that I would actually throw up blood. So far, the pregnancy has been both worse and better than I expected. But while there are a lot of things I still miss (and will continue to miss until the baby is born) things are definitely looking up.

At 14 weeks and 5 days, here is my pregnancy update:

What I miss...

1) Obviously, the game, which, because four out of the six people involved (including God himself) are smokers, is just a big no-no for me in my condition right now. Just this week, Andrew created the digital art for our characters and it made me feel both proud (hey, I didn't know my character and my shard was that pretty!) and sad (I really do miss gaming).

Art courtesy of Andrew Drilon (I hope I'm not committing some social, grievous mistake by posting something a friend of mine did for the game, but I just felt Andrew did such a terrific job at making these masterpieces that I can't help but blog about it. )

2) Coffee. Once upon a time, I fell in love with Mocha Java (from Great Taste) and I thought that love was reciprocated. Through the years however, Mocha Java became more distant with me and became less and less available. Until one day, Mocha Java just simply disappeared. For awhile, I was lost. Somehow, I picked up the pieces, got involved with Coffee House's Cappuccino and I thought I had moved on. And then I found out I was pregnant. And then, Mocha Java came back. And then my doctor said I can't have coffee.

It's a sad, sad world, I tell you.

3) My friends. Though they've been bending over backward to accommodate my suddenly healthy lifestyle, it's just not the same hanging out with your smoker friends knowing they will start to fidget in an hour or so, trying to compensate for the non-existent cigarette in their mouths by eating candies by the boxes. And while I know that they all love me (and my husband) to bits, I sometimes don't know anymore if we've (hubby and I) have over-extended our welcome by staying too late when every minute I'm there, I'm essentially depriving them with something they arguably need more than water. So now I feel we're caught in the awkward stage - I'm trying to be polite and trying not to inconvenience them too much but at the cost of not spending as much time with them as I am used to. The real tragedy here is that my husband, great guy that he is, has decided to stay with me when, the truth of it is, he could actually spend time with them, game with them, do stuff with them (albeit without me) because he is not bound by the no-smoke-shall-reach-thy-nostril rule.

What's Great About 14 onwards....

1) The nausea and heartburn has let up. I know I've been whining about this incessantly, but the all consuming nausea and heartburn (made worse that I'm actually hyper acidic even prior to my pregnancy) had been so bad that I just wanted to crawl into a blanket and stay there forever. What's worse, when I did walk around, I hardly had any sense of fashion, my hair was a mess and I was pale with hormonal zits all over my face, making my already battered self esteem plummet even further down the depths of nauseating despair. All these made me walk slower and with a slouch, face down (you should ask Alex when you see him about how I walked, he does a pretty hilarious impersonation if I do say so myself). Now, either I've gotten used to my pale, hormonal zitted face, but I think I've started to look better. And while I'm not exactly skipping towards a rainbow, I'm actually walking at more or less normal pace towards some destination. And of course, I've started to actually comb my hair.

2) My breasts have grown from a 36 to a 40. And while this was not actually an occurrence that strictly happened in my 14th week, I am beginning to see the fashionable opportunities with increased breast size. I'd be deliriously happy if I go down to a 38 after the pregnancy, but friends have said this is not that case. Oh well, enjoy them while I have them.

3) My belly is now a pregnancy belly. Prior to this, I keep inspecting my stomach and instead of seeing an unborn child, I just keep seeing the donuts I shouldn't have eaten at lunch time. I didn't look pregnant, just, well, fat. Now, it definitely looks like a pregnancy belly so that people actually look at you and say Congratulations, instead of trying to hide the "Oh-my-god-she's-grown-fat" look from their eyes.

What I'm thankful for...

1) My husband. Through out the horror of my existence in December, he has been funny and patient and kind and firm and mean and persuasive and determined and optimistic when he needed to be. Even now, he takes such great care of me, that I often feel that I'm letting him down when I can't help but throw up. He's been wonderful and wonderful. I don't know what I did to deserve a husband like him.

2) I didn't actually lose my temper as much as I thought I would. In fact, a lot of people have voiced their fears to both me and Alex about my mood swings, thinking, not without basis, that I was a fairly temperamental person to begin with, baby or no baby. But the sudden bouts of illogical anger or even tantrums did not occur. The only times I got angry with Alex, in fact, was when he, upon sensing that something is wrong with me, would badger me with questions when all I want to do is sit still, not move, not speak, just letting the pain die down. In those instances, I get so annoyed that I actually get enough adrenalin to lose my temper and tell him to leave me alone before I crawl back to my own pocket of despair. But those instances were rare. For the most part, we hardly had any fights nor arguments, to a point I'm actually beginning to miss them. Alex says not to worry though. He thinks its just the nausea that keeps me too tired to be temperamental and that soon in the second trime, we'll both be back to normal.

3) Jelly Tongue and Crushed Ice and Plasil. All of which are used to keep me from throwing up. The Jelly Tongue in particular, a frozen apple flavored gelatin available in most stores, has the added benefit of tinting lips a delicious color of red, which would have been useful for my self esteem had I the skill to apply it more evenly.

So that's it. Supposedly, this second trimester is the best three months I'll get during the pregnancy, so here's to hoping.

And to all my patient friends, Mocha Java and beloved characters, I'm almost back.

I'm almost back.

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