Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Get Hostile

I've been Hostile sober for at least 4 days now (counting the weekend) or 3 business days (coz weekends don't really count, since I have no net access) and while my productivity has improved (including having the time to set up a new blog, and finishing [not well] a story) I can't help but feel that my afternoons are strangely empty. The problem with the game, aside from the obvious addictive nature of it, is that, just like in any community, you find yourself being 'friends' with the virtual characters you meet. And since it is a game, it's inevitable that feelings will be involved. In my case, I met a guy who I actually liked and loved playing with, but due to a certain confluence of events, we ended up having a fairly nasty exchange in cyberspace.

It sounds dumb now, I know.

But it doesn't change the fact that me and guy are 'enemies' (and if you're wondering why I keep quoting these things, it's just coz I'm uncomfortable leaving it unquoted when I don't really know the guy beyond Hostile) and have avoided each other in the small little community. Which is why I stopped (oh, and yeah, I wanted to be more productive too). I care too much and theoretically, I know I shouldn't. It's just a game. And I don't really know him. And even the basis of our fight was really stupid.

So I left to cool off hoping to come back caring less. And while a part of me doesn't really see the need for me to do something drastic as leaving an entire community just because of one guy, I've realized it's been the hallmark of my life -when I reach a certain level of attachment I back off.

Now, whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, I don't know. Maybe when I'm less afraid to get hurt, I'll have the courage to figure out an answer.

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